yeah, i hear you……
Do you have pushy parents? Actually, as much as parents think they know best, this isn’t always the case. Here are some ideas on how to deal with pushy parents
What is generally true is that parents want the best for their kids, but their idea of what’s best doesn’t always match what a teenager needs or wants. .Dealing with a pushy parents is really tough – I mean, how do you tell your mom or dad to back off without sounding disrespectful and ungrateful?
Time and Place.
If your parents are relentlessly pushing you, you have no choice but to talk to them about it. If not, resentment will grow. So pick your time and place. If you think your dad is going to freak and start shouting, wait until you’re at a restaurant where he can’t make a scene. Also, wait for an opportunity when either or both parents aren’t in a rush and have the time to talk. Then ask them to sit down and listen to what you have to say.
Love Letters.
Kids and parents argue – it’s a fact of life, but talking from a place of anger will just cause more problems. Try writing a letter instead. Counter any criticism with appreciation. So for every point you make about wanting to be different to your mom, make one about how much you admire her for x, y, or z.
Negotiation.
If you feel the pressure from your parents is relentless, negotiate with them and agree the rules in advance. Negotiate hard, and document the agreement. This will help to set some boundaries you can rely on. (the secret to negotiating is never to give anything unless you get something in return… as my dad always tells me)
Take Time Out.
If during a discussion, things get heated it’s perfectly OK to take time out. Just tell your parents calmly that you need a break, leave the room, and gather your thoughts before returning to the discussion. This could take minutes, hours or days, but it will show maturity on your part.
Bring in Reinforcements.
Sometimes, despite all your best efforts, parents still won’t listen. If this is the case with you, then go and speak to your teacher. Sit down with him or her and explain that you’re struggling with whatever the class is and it’s really causing you to be unhappy. Ask the teacher to call your parents in for a meeting to explain it to them. Sadly, sometimes parents can’t, or won’t, hear their own children. Having a teacher come up with a solution could be the middle ground you both need.
You know yourself better than anybody, and that’s a fact a lot of parents can’t grasp. If you feel like your parents are being too pushy, first of all really examine why you feel that way. Are they really being too pushy, or does what they say make sense? If it won’t hurt you to do a little more, then put in the extra effort. But if it’s causing you genuine unhappiness and you’re struggling, for whatever reason, then it needs to be sorted out.
By sitting down and discussing it in a mature way, you are showing them that you are capable of making good decisions about yourself and your future. And that might be all it takes to make them realize that you’re a person in your own right.
Did or do you have pushy parents? If so, drop us a line and let us know how you deal with pushy parents!
Further reading:
http://www.teenvogue.com/story/pushy-parents-how-to-get-yours-to-back-off
http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/tip-how-to-talk-to-parents.aspx
http://www.teenissues.co.uk/howtodealwithpressurefromparents.html
